Another step added and STREP!

Gah! So there's yet another step added to the adoption process that will probably delay pickup. I don't think it's been officially announced yet, but there's going to be a second DNA test done on the babies before all is said and done. I get it. I do. It still aggravates me that there is no notice whatsoever being given by the US Embassy about this. WTF?! It's supposed to go into effect tomorrow! The DNA test is going to only be done on the babies-the bmom is not involved-to compare with their previous DNA test that was done way back in the beginning of the process. This is to ensure that it is indeed the same baby and isn't a switched baby. I understand why. Really. I just wished they gave some kind of notice or grandfathered those of us OUT already, or some damned thing. Even say...oh, I don't know, perhaps start it on SEPTEMBER 1st...not that the fact that Kevin should already have PINK by then has anything to do with it, or anyselfishthing like that.


Anyway.

I started getting a scratchy throat on Sunday at work and thought, "Great. I'm getting a cold." Yesterday it was worse and I waited for the cold symptoms, but they didn't come. Today I woke up and was dying. Could barely swallow and felt like I was only minutes away from needing trach to breathe. Still no cold symptoms, but something was. not. right. I, as a nurse, am a horrible patient. It's just the way it is with most of us. I normally wait until I have no other choice before I go see my doctor when I'm sick. Half the time, I wait too long and wind up in the ER instead. Thankfully, I rarely get sick. Roni started telling me that I have Strep Throat today. Now, normally, and she'll tell you it's so, I pooh-pooh her, but I knew that something was definitely different with this sore throat. So I went. Yep, Strep. Sigh.

It's official!

It has been brought to my attention that I've been neglectful in updating my blog today (sorry Terry).

Kevin is legally my son. I'm a mommy! His adoption decree was registered on the 23rd.

The final steps:

A new birth certificate, with my last name, is requested. Currently, where Kevin was born is taking about 10 days, or so.

Once the new BC is picked up, he gets a passport (takes 1 day there).

Everything (all the adoption paperwork) is then translated from Spanish to English.

The final file is submitted to the US Embassy for the PINK slip (figure about a week).

The pink slip will have our appointment date and time on it.

After PINK, but before the appointment, Kevin will go to the Embassy panel physician for final checkup and for visa photos.

Once I receive the date, I will make travel arrangements to fly to Guatemala. Lately, there's been only a week or 8 days notice for this.

The day after our Embassy appointment, our VISA will be picked up by my agency for me.

The day after that, we'll be flying HOME!

This weekend?

Will I know this weekend if the bmom signed off on the adoption for the fourth, and final, time? The lawyers are due to send out the 10 day update today and my agency director said she'll be getting them out to us this weekend. What I want to see? A) The bmom signed off already, and B) the new BC was already sent for.

As I've said before, I'm a planner. I like a schedule. I'm a little OCD that way. So, with that being said, I have the timing of the pick-up trip planned out in my head. Right down to my Embassy appointment date. It's a fool's game, but I can't help myself. I'm predicting (HA!) the Embassy date being on, or around, 8/22. But! If the sign-off didn't, or hasn't (I can't even contemplate that), happened right away (or any other glitches), the whole plan goes in the crapper and I'll have to reassess my planned dates.

My stomach is churning waiting for the news that Kevin is, indeed, legally my son and is coming home. As usual, I'll be at work when the update is sent. It seems that has happened often to me and it sucks.

I'll let you know Monday if I got it.

Have a great weekend!

Barely scratched the surface

OMG! Do you have any idea of how much crap many items you have to buy for a baby?! Of course you do! But! I never realized just how much shit stuff you need. Or! How much it costs when you have to get it all at once. I'm so glad I bought the "big ticket items" already because, holy moly, the little stuff is adding up extremely fast and we haven't even bought that much yet. If you are in PGN, I highly recommend you don't wait, like I did, because you might "jinx" things. Jinx schminx. Get the stuff now or the sticker shock may just kill you if you wait. Save the receipts if you're not comfortable with the idea, but, seriously, get some stuff. Spread it out and get it. GET. IT! OK. Good. I'm alright now....*twitch*

MeMe about high school

1. Who was your best friend?
Terry Metz for most of my HS days. We started growing apart in our senior year, though.
2. Did you play any sports?
No. The coach wanted me for track, but I was too busy smoking in the lav. Hey, I had my priorities!
3. What kind of car did you drive?
I didn't have a car in HS. My first car was a used Pinto...yeah, I'm lucky to be alive.
4. It’s Friday night. Where were you?
Hangin' with my "gang" on the street corner. It wasn't as sinister as it sounds...
5. Were you a party animal?
Hmmm...Define "party animal".
7. Were you in the band, orchestra or choir?
No...see #2.
8. Were you a nerd?
Perish the thought!
9. Were you ever suspended or expelled?
Suspended (in-school)....see #2.
10. Can you sing the fight song?
Yes.
11. Who was your favorite teacher?
I don't recall a favorite.
12. What was your school mascot?
A Mountaineer.
13. Did you go to the Prom?
Yes.
14. If you could go back, would you?
No.
15. What do you remember most about graduation?
Trying not to cry.
16. Where were you on Senior Skip Day?
I don't remember...
17. Did you have a job your senior year?
My dad wouldn't let me work.
18. Where did you go most often for lunch?
See #2.
19. Have you gained weight since then?
No.
20. What did you do after graduation?
My father opened a sub shop and was wildly successful. I managed it for 14 years and then went to nursing school.
21. What year did you graduate?
1981
22. Who was your Senior Prom Date?
Doug
23. Are you going/did you go to your 10 year reunion?
Good grief, no.

Surreal

It's been a few days now and it's still very surreal to me. My mind is having trouble grasping that Kevin will be home soon and we have nothing for him as far as the smallbutaddsupquickly day-to-day stuff. I did manage to buy the bigger ticket items while in PGN and I'm oh-so-glad I did, but there's not a single bottle, diaper, formula, baby food, etc. in the house. I left everything with the FM while on the visit trip. So shopping I must do. I'm still not at ease because I must wait for the weekend, when I get my scheduled update, to know the bmom signed off for the final time. I need to make a list. Lists are good. They make me feel better.

So....before my OUT call, I told several of my friends that I would text them with the word "OUT" and then they'd know that it was over. I was very clear and I spoke slowly when I told them I'd do this. What some of them heard was "wahwahwahwahwahwah" like the Charlie Brown teachers apparently. One girl text back "out where?" and another was "what?". Sigh.

I told my bosses to get me covered from the 25th of August on, but that it may be a week sooner. I can't give them an exact date until I actually get PINK and then they'll have very little notice. I'm feeling a little guilty because I have a feeling they're going to force people to cover my shifts because they really have no choice. You see, I work Saturdays and Sundays double shifts. This allows my fellow supervisors to work Monday-Friday with every weekend off. They're not going to like it that they're going to need to split it up some way. They've been very spoiled with our arrangement because it's unusual in nursing to not have to work any weekends. Now they may have to and they won't like it one little bit. Sigh.

Thank-you! and pics

Thanks for the congratulations! These are the pics in my mailbox when I woke up for work on Saturday morning...

OUUUUTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!

I got the call a little while ago! Kevin is OUT of PGN!!! I'm shaking like a leaf and need a little while to form a coherent post, but I wanted to let you all know ASAP.

Does anyone have a pen?

'Cause I need one to stick in my eye. I'm not thrumming at all today. I'm just plain pissed. It's not about me not getting the call. Well, it's not only about me not getting the call...I know I'm still in the "average" OUT range. I'm pissed because I haven't seen a single OUT today on either board. Not one. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. It makes me angry because how the hell am I supposed to obsess about timelines and submission dates, thatIknowI'mnotsupposedtoobsessaboutbutdoanyway, if there are no OUTs?! At all. None. I could spit.

But I won't.

'Cause that would be unattractive.

And immature.

And, well, gross.

One stinkin' OUT posted today

It's depressing. Refreshing the computer all day waiting to see some OUTs posted so I can compare dates of submissions and there was ONE....1....Uno. The date of submission was the 23rd, though. So that's good.

On the bright side...yeah, that's me, Suzy sunshine...I received surprise visit pics again already!

My boy looks less traumatized by the bumbo seat this time, at least. Here's to hoping this is the last surprise visit pics that I ever have to receive!

I'm sorry, but I can't resist

I just can't help posting things like this...

When inquiring via email if assembly was required on an item, the response:

Very little ...basically just screw on the legs and screw on the draw knob.

I guess it could be a typo.....

Thrummmmm....

Yeah, it's back. Damn. Work sucked this weekend, but at least I didn't thrum. It's hitting that time of day again. The time of day that I say, "It's a little after 1PM in Guatemala and a little after noon where my caseworker lives..." I will now spend the rest of my day as tense as a guitar string waiting. Just waiting. I don't actually expect my OUT call today because I'm convinced it'll come on a Tuesday or a Friday, but I sure wouldn't mind being wrong just this once. Just this once, mind you, because I normally hate being wrong about anything...That's not my fault, though. It happens so infrequently that I haven't had enough practice at it.

I'm kidding. I kid.

Sort of.

Getting closer...

Another week gone and no OUT call. On the upside, there were a bunch of OUTs this week with a submit/resubmit date of 5/22. Kevin's resubmit date was 5/24. I know I shouldn't do that. "Don't compare timelines", everyone says. Uh-huh. In theory, that is sound advice. In reality, I don't think it's possible. I really don't. I've never seen anyone ever post that they're unconcerned with other's timelines. If anyone is able to accomplish that, I'd like a hit of whatever they're on. At least my positively "thrumming" feeling is gone for the next couple of days. The weekend of 16 hour work days is a blessing at this point. No OUTs on a weekend and work will keep me occupied during every one of my waking hours until Monday, when I wearily drag my ass out of bed at around 10AM, or so. Half of the day on Mondays, after working those hours, are spent trying not to drool on myself and getting my limbs to cooperate with what my brain wants to do and my brain to form a thought that consists of more than 2 words strung together. That being said, I'm sure the thrumming will return in full force by Monday afternoon and will persist until I get the call. I've got myself convinced that it'll come next week. A fool's game, it is.

List of things I need to do

1. Bathe all 3 dogs.
2. Fix the leaking faucet in the bathtub.
3. Clean the pond filter.
4. Fix the basement window well...every storm brings a flood of water in.
5. Rip up the tattered carpet in the laundry/dog's room and put something...nay...anything else down.
6. Pick up more fish for the pond...there's only one lone fish left after the winter.
7. Put the Winnie The Pooh decals on the wall for Kevin.
8. Buy car seats.
9. Buy a highchair.
10. Paint the dining room. I haven't even finished the edging on the ceiling yet...I'm so ashamed.

What I accomplished today:

1. Bathed the dogs...

That's it. That's all.

I can't seem to get my head in the game. it doesn't help that I'm a born procrastinator. Add in the fact that I'm glued to the computer looking at submit/resubmit dates for the latest OUTs to try to tell if I'll get the call soon, and I'm toast. I'm going to lose my mind when I do get the call trying to get everything done, but it'll be a good losing of the mind. It'll be a nice change of pace.

Gosh, I'm touched

Tonight I went to a message board where some of my friends from the fertility board now hang out. I feel a little out of place, but I like to check in and see how everyone is doing. Lo and Behold, there was a post with my name in the title wanting to know how the adoption was going. I was blown away. The women on the fertility board that I was a member of while I was TTC meant so much to me. I was totally myself on the board and they accepted me and encouraged me and were there for me while my heart was breaking. I felt a loss when I left the board. The only person that I remained in contact with was Rachel. One day I got an email from Lisa, a friend from that board, to tell me about a new site where some of the women have migrated to. Naturally I joined. Even though I don't TTC, I occasionally post on the board that they are on. I didn't really think my absence would be noticed by anyone if I wasn't there much. I remember how all-consuming TTC was to me.

Thank-you, Janet, for thinking of me enough to start that thread. I can't tell you what it means to me.

Couple of things to ramble about...

AGAIN I have an amusing error in grammar. Well, "amusing" isn't the best word. I may be looking for "idiotic". Chester draw....what do you think they were trying to type? I'll tell you...chest of drawers. Can you even freakin' believe it?!

How difficult is it to close the cupboard door after you get a glass out of it? How. Difficult. Is. It?

I'm sorry, but if your children are 25 and 27 years old, why are you still paying their bills when you're flat broke and are worried about losing your house. You aren't doing them any favors because when you die...and we all do...they are not going to have a single clue on how to survive in the world.

Coincidence or not, there hasn't been a single mouse sighting since I bought those sonic things...or whatever they are called.

The guy who weighs 400 pounds that lays in bed all day and can't do a thing for himself except eat, including holding his own urinal, who, when the fire alarm went off and it wasn't a drill, flung himself out of bed and started speed walking down the hall. It's a miracle!

I'm absolutely addicted to reading blogs. Humor blogs are my favorite, but I read a whole mess of them. If y'all don't update your blogs regularly, I heave and audible sigh when I click on your site. You may have a life outside of blogging, but I. DON'T. CARE. I want more material. I have worked my way through one of my favorite blogger's archives and await, breathlessly, for her next post every time. I am currently wading my way through another of my fav's archives because some of you...and you know who you are...aren't keeping your blogs current. C'mon, throw me a bone, people. Help me through my wait for Kevin...and for those of you who don't blog, start one. Now. Dammit.

Original submission date blues

The date that Kevin first went into PGN is the date that the OUTs are coming right now. It makes me so sad that I could have gotten the call by now if the reviewer hadn't been so damn ridiculous. I want that call so bad and, although it's possible to get the call tomorrow, in all probability I have a couple more weeks to fret over getting it or a KO...shhhh. Since it is, theoretically, possible to get the call any day now, I spend the day tense...practically thrumming...in anticipation. The nights, though, are a bit depressing. Another night is almost over and I'll start the whole thing all over again. It's exhausting. Truly exhausting.

Blogging addiction

60%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Mingle² - Online Dating

Fighting the devil

Tonight I was reading http://www.adoptingahren.blogspot.com/ and understood exactly what she was talking about. While leaving a comment, all these feelings that I've been fighting came flooding out of me.

When Kevin first entered PGN 8 weeks and 1 day ago (but who's counting), I vowed, publicly even, that I would try to be nothing but happy for those who go into PGN and get OUT in 2 weeks(ish). I am happy for those families and, especially, the babies. It's the way it should be, but, boy oh boy, it's getting tougher and tougher to fight the evil feeling of jealousy. I know I haven't been IN that long compared to some and that makes my envy even worse in my own eyes. I'm terrified of another KO at this point. It turns my stomach when I see someone has gotten a KO so late into PGN because I know another one could come for me at any time. I'm so tense waiting for the call because it could go either way, really. I ask God for strength, not only to get through the rest of the process, but to open my heart and lose the feeling of bitterness when I see a quick OUT. It's not who I am to feel that way and I don't like it one little bit...

Meme about Me

I got this from this blog...http://flyonthewall.blogspot.com/

43 Little-Known Facts About Tami

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

My middle name is the middle name of my Grandmother.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

I cried tears from laughter reading the archives of this blog about a week ago...http://boobsinjuriesanddrpepper.blogspot.com/ Sad tears was the day I had to give Kevin back to the FM on the visit trip.

3. Do you like your handwriting?

No.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

Depends on my mood. I don't eat it often, but hard salami when I do.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Working on it.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

Yes....unless I had no common sense at all, or a completely illogical thinker, because I can be impatient with people like that.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?

Oh, Lord, it never stops.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?

Yes

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?

That time has passed.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?

Don't eat it, but when I used to it was Lucky Charms

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

Yes

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?

Yes

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?

Peanut butter

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

Whatever is most noticeable about that particular person. See how I
over think things?

15. RED OR PINK?

red

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?

My chin

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?

Kevin & My grandmother

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO DO THIS MEME TOO?

Yes, everyone.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?

Jean shorts and white Nike's with silver trim and a bright green swoosh.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

3 cheese cubes.

21. WHAT RADIO STATION ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?

I'm not.

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?

Uh...how does one answer this question? It's weird. Do I answer my favorite color? Do I answer a color that gets used a lot or one that doesn't? Weird question....over thinking again...

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?

A baby's head

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?

Mom

25. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

PA

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?

Hockey...especially if I'm there!

27. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HAIR?

Brown

28. EYE COLOR?

Brown

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

yes

30. FAVORITE FOOD?

Steak

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

happy endings

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?

Shrek the 3rd

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

Blue Tower of Terror T-shirt from Disney

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?

Summer all the way

35. HUGS OR KISSES?

depends on who you are (I stole this answer, but could it be more appropriate?)

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?

pb cup and Oreo cookie Blizzard from DQ

37. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING RIGHT NOW?

Don't Say A Word...can't remember the author.

38. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?

Graph lines.

39. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?

Outrageous Moments

40. FAVORITE SOUND?

The music playing at Disney World!

41. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?

Not really fond of either

42. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?

Guatemala

43. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?

Does always being right count?

"If you build it, 'he' will come..."

I received Kevin's 5 month doctor's visit yesterday. He's up to 12lbs, 5ozs and a little over 24.25 inches long now. He's doing well and developmentally on target. Here are the pics from the visit:

My mom and her DH brought the crib down last night, as well as a bunch of other goodies. I decided today that I would assemble it taking a page from A Field Of Dreams. If I build it, he will come. OK....I'm ready...

How it all began...

I was reading a blog today....http://thereignofellen.blogspot.com/....and realized that I never shared how I was led to Kevin. My very first post on this blog was that I was starting this blog midstream. I thought it would be a good time to share my journey (Rach, you know most of this so I'll understand if you click off now ;)...). Besides, I'm short of material....

I honestly can't say when I first heard it....that loud "tick-tock" sound coming from my body. I just know that once I did, it was overwhelming. I thought I had resigned myself to having no children of my own...even embraced the idea, but there it was...all of a sudden...this booming "TICK-TOCK".

I attempted AI (artificial insemination) for nine months, beginning in September 2005, until I got some blood work done that showed that a viable pregnancy was all but hopeless. It was an extremely difficult and emotional 9 months for me, but, once the results of the blood work came back, my path was very clear to me. I wanted to be a mommy-not give birth (that thought was a little frightening, actually, for more than one reason...my Diabetes and the possible complications and, well, PAIN). The last couple of months of attempting AI, I was casually exploring the idea of adoption. I'm not sure why, but Guatemala was where I was drawn and I began my research in earnest...After becoming almost an expert on fertility through a fertility message board, my next mission was to do the same regarding Guatemalan adoptions.

I found an adoption message board that is a wealth of information and found an agency that received glowing recommendations from everyone I contacted about them. In June 2006, I signed with them and the journey was about to begin...if a single thing had happened differently, I would not have been referred Kevin. I think about that now as I wait for word that the baby I love, my son in my heart if not yet legally, and I'm so grateful for the delays that I was cursing with a vengeance while they were happening.

I dove into the paperchase and was on my way. During the paperchase I hit a glitch that almost ended my dream. My adoption was put on "hold" for about 3 weeks. I received word I could continue if my "glitch" was straightened out. I was already working on it (I'm sorry I can't share the details at this point, but it's somebody else's privacy at stake). It was supposed to be taken care of in a matter of days, but it took 7 freakin' weeks. I continued with the rest of the paperchase and scheduled my 2nd homestudy visit. I was ready for the HS to be submitted to USCIS by the end of September, but my homestudy social worker took his sweet ass time finishing it. I finally wrote to him and told him that I only had 4 months from the time I got my USCIS fingerprints done to submit my homestudy. At the time, I actually thought that was true, but it turned out it wasn't. Never-the-less, it worked and my HS was submitted to USCIS on November 2nd...FINALLY. I received my approval on 11/28/06. My completed dossier was submitted to my agency. Hold up #3....there was a "redo" on my doctor's exam report. I had to go back to my doctor and have him resign the form because, when they copied it onto their letterhead, it left smudges all across the top of it. My doctor, God bless him, did it very quick. I had to sent that back out to get Certified and Authenticated again, so I lost another 2 weeks. Finally, my dossier was ready to go to Guatemala and was there on 12/15/06.

I was, then, officially on the waiting list for a referral! WooHoo! I was definite that I wanted a boy and, wouldn't you know it, for the first time in my agency's history, there was a waiting list for boys.

Let's recap, shall we?

#1) A 7 week holdup on the "glitch". #2) Over a month waiting for the finalization of my HS. #3) A 2 week holdup on a redo. #4) A 10 week wait for my referral.

I finally got the magical call on 2/5/07 and this is one of the pics I received:

I knew the minute I saw him why things happened the way they did and I couldn't be happier (Well, except when I get my OUT call, of course).

....and AFTER

The hair is gone. I feel such relief and I'm sure you do, too, since you won't have to read about it anymore. Keep in mind that it won't look this way ever again because the hair absolutely never looks the same as when the hairdresser does it. I want wash and go and she use a roll brush and a hairdryer and some gunk in it. Now, I'm not adverse to said gunk...I used gunk with my spikes, so I'll be playing with it this week to see what I'll end up with. Of course, by the time I figure out what I like, it will have grown out again because of my freakishly fast growing hair. My hairdresser said no less than 4 times after she cut it, "Oh, yeah, you're definitely a short hair girl". That ensures I'll never try the long hair thing again. Ya can't say I didn't try, at least.




Drum roll, please:


On another note...my mom called today to ask if there's any news on Kevin (as if she wouldn't hear me screaming from over an hour away, or something). She informed me that she bought a stroller and some books for Kevin. She also asked if I got a crib yet and said she found a 4-in-1 crib and wondered if I'd like that. Oh, abso-freakin'-lutely! She's picking it up and bringing it to me this week. WooHoo! This made me inordinately happy. Just like the day she told me she kisses his picture and tells him she can't wait for him to be home. It just touches me so deeply that she is so on-board with the adoption. Excuse me while I get a tissue...