I'm not at work, my freakin' camera, and smokin'

I actually called off sick today because, well, I'm dyin' here. Not really, but gosh I hate being sick. I don't get sick very often and I always forget how bad it sucks. I toughed it out yesterday and went into work even though, A: I was sick and, 2: Kevin kept me up (because he was also sick) until 4AM when I had to get up at 6AM to go to work for 16 freakin' hours.

Now, I never call off. Seriously. I feel too guilty calling off. When I dragged my sorry butt into work yesterday, I was already regretting not calling off and then. Then I looked at today's schedule and I. Got. Pissed. Let me explain....In recent weeks my new DON and Administrator have set a precedence that they won't move the floor nurses around because of the incessant whining that, God forbid, they work a different floor. Now, don't get me wrong, I understand not wanting to move off of the unit you normally work. The problem comes when you can get somebody to come into work to cover a shift when you don't have a nurse to work a floor, but the person that is willing to come in will only come in for their regular floor. OK, they kinda have you over a barrel. After all, they don't have to come in. They will do us a favor and come in, but that would mean somebody gets bumped. It has always been that, in this situation, one of my nurses would get bumped. Sucks, but what are you supposed to do? I'll tell you what they decided to do when one of my nurses whined about it...they told her they wouldn't do it anymore. Where does that leave me as the supervisor? With no nurse for one of the floors, that's where. What did they figure would be a better solution than moving a nurse? Schedule me for the floor, that's what. The liability issue involved in this is scary. How am I supposed to supervise the building if I'm on a floor? Again, don't get me wrong. I've worked the floor in an emergency when someone has called off. I've actually done it quite a few times. The fact that this could have been avoided has me livid, though. If I wasn't sick, I still probably would have done it. I would've bitched about it, but I wouldn't have called off over it. The fact that I was sick and dragged my butt in there yesterday when most people, in their right mind, would have called off..because I would have felt guilty sticking them with no supervisor...and then to see they didn't give a crap if they stuck me...helped me get past most of my guilt today. I couldn't have physically or mentally been able to do a floor today. My DON probably had to go to work in my place today. I don't know for sure. I feel bad about that. I do. If she did, I'll bet anything that somehow, some way, she got somebody to work that floor. I'll bet she didn't have the floor and the House to supervise. If that's the case, then it just goes to show that they should have tried harder to get it covered for me. I guess I'll find out next weekend. They'll probably pay me back for this call off, but at least I'll be better by then (I hope) and be able to handle a floor without endangering someone in the process.

Vent #1 Over.

Vent #2 begins:

My camera is broken. How long have we had it? Probably just past the 90 day warranty. I bought it "refurbished" and still paid a good buck for it. I've never done that before and you can bet that I'll never do it again. I just ordered a new camera. I hope we like it. It's a Canon Powershot SD750k...anyone have one?

My final news is that I'm attempting to quit smoking again. Deep breath. I've quit twice before for over 5 months each time...long after the physical addiction was gone...and then had "just one". Huge mistake. It's my addiction and "just one" can't be for me. I can't be a social smoker. I'm glad I know this about myself now so I can avoid the mistake of thinking I can handle "just one". I do know how to be successful in quitting for myself. After all, I've done it twice before. It's staying quit that I have to master. It's more mental for me. I freakin' enjoy smoking. I know that y'all are probably grimacing, but *shrugs* that's just a fact. I enjoy the act of smoking, I enjoy the ritual involved in smoking, I enjoy the socialization of smoking. There ya have it.

Don't judge me, man.

Wish me luck....I'll let you know when I've had my last one (I have to quit by cutting down first and cutting out my "trigger" smokes).