The clock, she's ticking.

It's only a matter of time.

Every weekend from here on out for another month or so, I'll be a nervous wreck waiting to go into work to peer at the schedule to see if I have enough staff. The anxiety kills me on Fridays.

The reason for this is that I currently have a nurse out on medical leave. She's been out for a few weeks already, but the schedule has been covered up until yesterday with staff who have picked up the time to help save my butt. I'm not delusional and think that they are simply doing it for me, but I've been reaping the benefits anyway. One nurse, in particular, has switched her regular schedule around and has been there for most of the shifts. The bonus is that she's a good nurse. That's always nice. Yesterday she told me that she hasn't been scheduled for any further shifts on the weekend (insert boo-boo face here). They expect this brand new graduate to be able to handle the floor herself regardless of the freakin' fact that they have been told that she isn't ready. I could spit because she'll probably end up quitting and, hello?, I'll be stuck on a floor.

I've almost always liked my job. I've been there for over 12 years. I've done a multitude of positions. I've had some wacky bosses. Still, for the most part, I've liked my job. Even when staff would bitch and moan and carry on, I usually found the bright side. It's always been tough to break my spirit and my loyalty. Right now? Not so much. I'm in a bad place. It's one thing after another that has put me here and not one thing in particular. First off, I've had fabulous relationships with almost all my Administrators in the past. This new one? I don't think he likes me much. I certainly have no bond with him and would never feel comfortable discussing anything that is bothering me with him. Secondly, no matter what logic is put before "them" (I'm not sure who "them" is...could be Corporate, but since I have no "bond" with anyone, I'm out of the loop), "they" will not answer my pleas for an extra nurse on the weekends. Let me set up the scenario for you...during the week, and let's just take last Mondays' schedule as a for instance, they have a shitload of nurses on day shift. There was 5 nurses scheduled, 3 Unit Managers, and a wound nurse. That isn't even looking at all the Management team that is there during the week. My normal schedule on the weekend? Three nurses and me. The role I play on the weekend is not recognized by anyfreakingone. I have played scheduler, social worker, maintenance, ancillary, activities, and my actual job of Supervisor. I have to troubleshoot every problem that may arise in the building and decide if it warrants a call to to the boss (and God forbid that I make the wrong choice there). During the week? They have the DON, Administrator, Social Service Director, Activities Director, Scheduler, Maintenance Director, etc., etc., etc. Did I mention 3 Unit Managers? Yes, it's true, it is busier during the week. There's more admissions (although I do get them, too) and there's way more labs drawn, but they seem to forget that my nurses have the same exact wound treatments and meds to pass as they do during the week. Why do they think they need 5 nurses and a wound nurse during the week and my 3 nurses should be able to do the same work? What. The. Fuck?

Third....oh? You forgot I was counting my reasons off because of that long diatribe? Sorry. Eh-hmm...Third, I have vacation time. Because I've been there forfreakingever, I have quite a bit. It is earned vacation time. It has always been that I simply tell them with plenty of notice when I'm going to take it and that's that. It is my earned time. Now, all of a sudden, it's like pulling teeth to get my time approved. Again, I say...What. The. Fuck? It seems that they think it's OK to hold my approval until they see if it can be covered. Ummm....why is that my problem? That seems to be the scheduler's problem. No? I cannot make any plans, make any reservations, etc., until they deign to sign my request. This is making me so very tense and is one of the things pissing me off more than anything because counting down the weekends until I'm off gets me through a lot of shit at work. Now, I don't even have that much. I'm so depressed. They think that I'll never leave. They're wrong. Push my buttons long enough and even I will break. I left my own family's business after 14 years because I wasn't appreciated as I should have been. I'm loyal and I take a lot of shit in the hopes that things will improve, but I'll only bend over for so long. If they lose me...maybe they won't care...but it just shows how low morale is in there right now. I've never seen the staff so down in all my years there and now? Now I've finally joined them.