Yes, I did

I know you've all been wondering if I ever mowed the field that I call my lawn....yes, I did. The Pug is thrilled. The Border Collie now looks bored. The Rottie doesn't even notice.

Let me tell you about my pets...WAKE UP...ahem, as I was saying....

The Rottie is truly a pain in the ass. I'm sorry, but she is. I know it's not her fault...she was abused by, not one, but two, previous owners. She needs therapy. She is the most nervous dog I've ever laid eyes on. This leads to "stomach issues". She gets diarrhea every weekend because I have to go to work. It's a damn good thing that I don't have to work 5 days a week. She will then eat grass all. day. long. You'd think that, by now-after 5 freakin' years, she'd figure out that I'll be back. But no. No, she doesn't. Not only does she get nervous about that, but, God forbid, anything at all changes in the daily routine. She gets all worked up. It's pathetic because it starts a domino effect with the other dogs. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do when Kevin comes home.

The Border Collie doesn't give a crap that I'm leaving for work. She's the smart one. She knows I'll be back. No biggie. When I get home she'll sit in front of me with eyes that look just like the cat in Shrek. So sweet.

The Pug will cry and squeal like a stuck pig when I'm leaving, but gets over it as soon as my car leaves the driveway. She'll survive as long as she gets a snack from Roni and then it's like "Tami who?"

The Pug keeps trying to take over the Alpha role with the dogs. It's a problem because the Rottie is Alpha right now. Does the Pug not see the size difference? Dumb ass. I know you're not supposed to interfere in this whole thing, but there is no way I'm going to let the Rottie prove herself to the Pug. The whole thing is too scary to contemplate. The Pug usually starts it by, behind the safely of a baby gate, she starts growling at the Rottie. Did I say "stupid fuck" yet? If I catch it early enough, I simply take the gate down and the Pug is all "What? I didn't say anything?" And promptly sticks her ass in the Rottie's face as submission. It diffuses at this point. If I don't catch it quick enough, I've had to pick the Pug up and carry her away as she attempts to squirm over my shoulder yelling obscenities to the Rottie. She honestly thinks this is the thing to do. Sigh.

The Border Collie stays out of it for the most part, but, if push came to shove, she's got the Rottie's back. They are the best of friends. If the Rottie is outside, the BC will sit at the door waiting for her to come in. If she takes too long, the BC will scratch at the door impatiently. When I go to lock the Rottie in the dog room, the BC will go with her in solidarity. It's cute and sad at the same time because if the Rottie has to go because of Kevin, I think the Border Collie's heart will be broken.

I'm going to have some decisions to make and I'm not looking forward to it....