Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The stealth involved

I believe that I've mentioned before that, while reading before bed, I enjoy 2 Reese's Peanut Butter cups for purely therapeutic reasons.

I also share a room with Kevin. The boy is a light sleeper. Do you have any idea how loud those wrappers are on those, sent from heaven, pieces of medicinal candy (that's my story, people...they are therapeutic, and I'm sticking with it)? Not to mention they all but superglue the wrapper together in the back. Everything about getting to the actual candy is noisy. The bag that they're in? Noisy? The outer wrapper? Noisy. The paper cup that the candy sits in? Noisy.

Picture it. I stealthily open my bedside drawer. Yes, I keep them in my nightstand. You can close your mouth now. I reach into the bag...*crinkle, pause, crackle, pause, crinkle*. I pull them out victoriously and set them down gently while I open my book. I pick up one of the noisy fuckers and turn it over. I try to slide my finger under the outer wrapper, but it's stuck together better than some cars I've known...I try to pull it apart...*crinkle, pause, hear Kevin stir, hold breath, he settles back down, crackle, pause, crinkle* The outer wrapper is off! But, that's not the end my friends. No sir. I still have to get the cup out of the paper holder it's in. It doesn't just slide out. Noooo. The ridges on the sides hold it firm. Firm, I tell ya. *crinkle, pause, crackle, Kevin stirs, wait, crinkle, Kevin whimpers, but it's loose!* Even setting the wrappers down is freaking noisy. I eat the first one. This takes more time than normal people because I eat the chocolate around the edges and then peel off the top chocolate and then the bottom chocolate until I have mainly just the peanut butter center. Yummy. Now, remember, I have to do this twice. So, the whole thing starts all over again....*crinkle, crackle, crinkle, with pauses, whimpers, and stirring of Kevin going on throughout*. It's sooo not relaxing, but it's so worth it.

8 comments:

Terry said...

How funny! Not that you have to do all of this work while trying not to wake Kevin, but that I LOVE Reese's, eat them the exact same way (and people said I was the only one!) and would work just as hard for my little bit of therapy. It must bring much satisfaction to eat these tasty little treats while looking at a sleeping Kevin knowing you are talented enough to do open them while causing only a stir or whimper. You've got it down pat, mama! :)

Terry

Melissa said...

Ummmm! I love Reese's too, but I don't eat them often or have the rituals about them that you do. You always crack me up!

I love the new blog look!

Mommy2B said...

I laughed so hard reading your post that I had to read it out loud to my DH. He was very curious.
Man I love me some peanut butter cups.....
Dottie
www.journeytng.blogspot.com

Our Ohana said...

Love it! You crack my ass up. :) I can clearly picture your scenario because that is me, w/o the chocolate...I like Ice cream (with Peanut butter cups) Oh, and I like the new colors. Very fall or Reese's-like, whatever, I think it's very nice!

Lisa said...

Tam-just open up 2 *before* Kevin goes to sleep. Quietly slip in the room, open them, and leave them nestled on top of their paper wrappers in your drawer...then when he's asleep and you're ready for therapy, just slide open the drawer and begin your odd chocolate ritual. (I just EAT Reece's, lol...yum.) Hope this suggestion helps. :-D ;-)

Kristen and the Gang said...

OMG...now I have had my GOOD laugh for the day...TYVM!! I agree with the medicinal "REESE's" theory and they are soooo worth it but like Lisa said...just have them "ready to eat" before Kevin goes to sleep...this way you can truly enjoy your medicine!

rachel said...

L
M
A
O

I can see it...I too, eat the Reese's the same way ;)

Laurie & Damian said...

I like your new Halloween colors on the blog...or is it Reese's colors? Hmmmm....