A scary moment

I made an assumption without reading the package and it could have cost Kevin his life. I'm an ass. I thought that the Gerber Graduates Wagon Wheels were the same consistency as the Puffs in that they dissolve in the mouth. I was wrong. They don't. And I learned the scary way tonight. I've been breaking these up into small pieces for Kevin because he loves them (and if they're not broken up, he'll shove the whole thing in his mouth). I'd put a few pieces on his tray and watch him feed himself. Tonight, he managed to pick up a couple at once and shoved them in while, at the same time, babbling to himself. I no sooner said, "Kevin, don't talk with your mouth full or you're going to choke" when it happened. He stopped waving his arms around and had his mouth open and his eyes wide. Not a sound was coming from him. I was sitting right in front of him, thank God. His face started turning red...

Let me digress for a moment...the proper way to do the Heimlich on an infant is this (I do not want to give misinformation). I am a RN and am trained in CPR and the Heimlich on adults, infants and children. I am very confident in my ability and have done it numerous times. However, I knew while taking the classes that I'd never be able to do the 1st choice method of the Heimlich on an infant unless it was a very small/young infant because I am tiny. I had trouble holding the doll properly in the class because my arms are too short for holding a child in this position.

Kevin was in his high chair so I chose the 2nd method, albeit while he was sitting up. It took 2 thrusts and he coughed out the offending piece. Needless to say, the Wagon Wheels are off his diet for a little while longer. Lesson learned.

If you haven't taken a CPR/Heimlich Maneuver class, take my advice and learn them. Especially if you have a child. It is time well invested because it only takes a few moments to lose your child forever.

COC

Today Kevin received his Certificate of Citizenship in the mail, as well as his "welcome" letter from the President. It arrived one month, exactly, from when we landed in Atlanta on the way home. The COC is proof that he is a US Citizen, automatically, because he came home on an IR3 Visa (for those who don't know, that means that I visited him before he was out of PGN-if you don't visit before getting OUT, the baby comes home on an IR4 Visa and you have to readopt in the USA before they are a citizen). Now...I need to get my shit together and legally do his name change (his birth name is Luis) and get his SS number. Tax time will be here before you know it!

ETA: Kevin "pulled up" using my body as his handhold, to a standing position, by himself, today for the first time!

Petition! PLEASE HELP!

Guatemala adoptions are in jeopardy-partly because of the actions, or inactions, of our own government not standing behind their citizens! The families that are in process are in danger of losing their babies. With Kevin being home such a short time, I can imagine what the families still in process are going through. I can't imagine life without my son. The innocent children of Guatemala will suffer the most. Please help us stop this! If you already haven't done so, please sign this petition!

http://www.petitiononline.com/foafoa1/petition.html

The stealth involved

I believe that I've mentioned before that, while reading before bed, I enjoy 2 Reese's Peanut Butter cups for purely therapeutic reasons.

I also share a room with Kevin. The boy is a light sleeper. Do you have any idea how loud those wrappers are on those, sent from heaven, pieces of medicinal candy (that's my story, people...they are therapeutic, and I'm sticking with it)? Not to mention they all but superglue the wrapper together in the back. Everything about getting to the actual candy is noisy. The bag that they're in? Noisy? The outer wrapper? Noisy. The paper cup that the candy sits in? Noisy.

Picture it. I stealthily open my bedside drawer. Yes, I keep them in my nightstand. You can close your mouth now. I reach into the bag...*crinkle, pause, crackle, pause, crinkle*. I pull them out victoriously and set them down gently while I open my book. I pick up one of the noisy fuckers and turn it over. I try to slide my finger under the outer wrapper, but it's stuck together better than some cars I've known...I try to pull it apart...*crinkle, pause, hear Kevin stir, hold breath, he settles back down, crackle, pause, crinkle* The outer wrapper is off! But, that's not the end my friends. No sir. I still have to get the cup out of the paper holder it's in. It doesn't just slide out. Noooo. The ridges on the sides hold it firm. Firm, I tell ya. *crinkle, pause, crackle, Kevin stirs, wait, crinkle, Kevin whimpers, but it's loose!* Even setting the wrappers down is freaking noisy. I eat the first one. This takes more time than normal people because I eat the chocolate around the edges and then peel off the top chocolate and then the bottom chocolate until I have mainly just the peanut butter center. Yummy. Now, remember, I have to do this twice. So, the whole thing starts all over again....*crinkle, crackle, crinkle, with pauses, whimpers, and stirring of Kevin going on throughout*. It's sooo not relaxing, but it's so worth it.

Now I've gotten all riled up again!

A few months ago, when I bought my new minivan, (shuddup) I was very surprised to get my insurance bill and it went up. It actually said the "safety rating was removed". How can the safety rating be removed if I'm driving one of the safest vehicles made? I used to drive a Jeep Liberty so this made no sense to me. I called my insurance agent and basically said, "WTF?!". She said she had no control over it, it comes from corporate. Yadda, yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah. So, for shits and giggles, I got a quote from Geico and it was like $500 less a year. I called my agent back and basically said, "Yo! WTF?!". She said, "Are you sure it was the same coverage?" Yes. Yes, I am. And then? Then I did what I normally don't do and that's procrastinate. I didn't change insurance companies. Why? Guilt. I've been with this agent forever. I was one of her very first clients. Tonight? Tonight I read online how minivans in general are the safest class of vehicles overall and my model ranks at the top of the safety lists. So. I'm pissed. I'm pissed at my insurance company and I'm pissed at myself for being such a schmuck. Tomorrow? Tomorrow I need to make the call. I need to quit bending over and smiling.

Just a quick note...

Kevin's first tooth broke through on 9/22 (the day of his 1st haircut) (This is mostly a note to myself...gotta start a baby/lifebook or figure out how to print or save this blog to disk...there must be a way).

The other thing...those last two pics in the last post? They are not the results of his haircut. Those were taken before his haircut when his hair was wet and I had it combed back. That is the look I want, though. Sorry to confuse you guys...I shouldn't even have put them on there because the natural conclusion from the progression of the pictures would leave one to believe they were post-haircut. Unfortunately, they're not.

First haircut-Pffftt

So Kevin's hair was driving me crazy. It was just too long and floppy for my taste. And it still is. Well, OK, I haven't wet it and combed it, yet, to see how it looks, but barely anything was taken off. Roni and Katie have been horrified at my threatening to take him for a buzz cut. I won't buzz it, yet, but I hate when people call him "she". I thought we'd compromise and take him to my hairdresser to have her take a little off the top and sides and just trim the back. She took the phrase "a little" quite literally. Other than the bangs, I can't even tell it was cut. Maybe, after I wet and comb it in the morning, I'll see a difference. BTW, this boy defines "bed head". Check it out:

Who would have thought I'd have to do this at less than 8 months old?! Here's pics of his first professional haircut:

This is what it looks like when it's wet in the morning (before the haircut) and kinda what I'm shooting for. You know...a little boy. I swear I'll be whipping out the mousse and/or gel products soon:

Playing the fool

Yeah, so, Kevin is playing games with me, I believe. For the past few days, when I go to put him down, he will take a little bit of a bottle, but not as much as he normally does. He'll signal that he's done (he does this by reaching his right arm over to the crib bumper, grasping its bottom edge and then, and only then, he'll roll onto his right side to hug the bumper and go to sleep. It's so damn cute. It is apparently his "lovey" at bedtime...but I digress). I'll then leave the room and come downstairs. At this point he has begun wailing. The first time it happened, I went back up and popped the bottle back in his mouth because I knew he didn't take enough. Sure enough, he sucked down most of the bottle and then went through his sleep routine. No problem. Except. Now he's doing it almost every time. I came down tonight after going through the whole rigmarole of going back up and re-offering him the bottle and told Roni that I think he's playing me. She said with sarcasm, "Do you really think he has the mental ability to be conniving?"

Why, yes. Yes, I do.

122 days...

...until we start the drive to Walt Disney World! I'm so damn darn excited...I guess I shouldn't curse in the same sentence as the word "Disney", huh? You have to understand...We've been going just about every 6 months since our first trip in December of 2003. I'm totally addicted. Love, love, love WDW. Our last trip was 10/06, which means that by the time we go in January, it'll have been 15 months since we've been there. I was waiting for Kevin. He's here. We're going. YAY! Kevin will be turning a year old when we're there (OK, the day we get home is his birthday, but still.). I can't wait to have a completely different trip than we're used to. Totally focusing on seeing Disney through his eyes. It's what I've dreamed of for so long. I'm finally going to live it.

FINALLY!

Terry has PINK!

Taking responsibility for your actions...

First of all I have to say...I have PINK on. PINK, people. I don't wear pink. I don't even own pink. I had to borrow from Roni who, BTW, is the pink queen. Roni is also in pink. Why would I subject myself to such an unflattering color on me? For Terry. Dammit, if she doesn't get PINK today, I'm gonna spit. Today I bought a Miller Chill. A single one. Let me explain. This nectar of the gods has brought me luck in Kevin's case. The first time I bought one, I got the OUT call. The next time I bought one, I got the PINK call. Tonight, I want to drink to Terry's PINK.

Next...So the night before last, Kevin woke up at 1 and 5:15AM....getting a little longer between wake ups, right? Well, last night he woke up at 1AM and did not get up a second time! WooHoo! He woke as usual at around 6:30AM. Nice. I can't wait to see if this continues. Maybe he's getting a little more comfortable in his surroundings?

Finally...Kevin is a sloppy eater. Sure, maybe it's partly my fault for the disaster that his face and bib becomes, but if the boy wouldn't shuck and jive like he thinks he's a damn hip hop dancer, this shit wouldn't happen. The boy needs to take some responsibility for his own actions. Gotta teach them young, after all...

Behold!

Tired, so tired

At what age do kids start liking to sleep in? 'Cause, y'all? I forgot how awful it is on my body to get up every effin' day at 6:30...yeah, 6:30. Seems that the original 7:30 time he was getting up has gone by the wayside. 7:30 was bad enough, 6:30 sucks chunks. The thing is? It's such a waste of time in my mind. If he could just learn to be like his mama and sleep late, he wouldn't need 3 freakin' naps a day every 2 hours.

I'm kidding. I kid. Sorta.

I swear, he goes back down for a nap by 8:30 (or 2 hours after he gets up) and sleeps for 2 hours, gets up for 2 more hours, and sleeps 2 hours, gets up...you get the picture. I just thank God that he doesn't do that all through the night. He will wake up somewhere around midnight and I'll change him and he'll take a little formula, but I never get him out of his crib (if I did that, it would be all over but the shoutin', my friends) and he goes right back to sleep. This all happens in about 5 minutes flat. Then he'll do the same thing anywhere between 3 and 4:30AM (usually around 3, but today it was 4:30...maybe a good sign?).

It does not matter what time I go to bed, so don't bother. I could go to bed at 9 and my body still wants to sleep until 10AM. It's just the way I'm wired. Naps usually make me feel groggy and just plain worse than if I didn't nap at all. Nothing I can do about it. It really sucks, though. I worked for several years at the 7AM 'til 3:30PM shift and my body never freakin' adjusted. I was constantly tired because of it. Working the weekend program for the past several years has been great. Just the two 16 hour days and I'm done. The rest of the week has been pure bliss for my biorhythm. OK, well, not so much on Mondays, but what do you expect? Still. It's been my best option. Well, the lottery would be my best option, but I'm a realist. And, why yes, I would quit my job if I won a ton of money. In a bleedin' heartbeat. I am not one that would be "bored", or whatever, if I didn't work. No offense to those who would actually want to keep working. I know a lot of people that feel that way. I don't get it, but I respect it. Not me. Fuck no. The thing is, I like my job. I like helping people. I love diagnosing telling the doctor what is wrong saying "I told you so" making suggestions to the doctor and saving patient's lives. Because I do. A lot. And I'm proud of that. I'm just....well....lazy, I guess. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I guess that's it. Huh. Oh well, not going to happen, but a girl can dream. Right? So. Anyway. Now there's a rumor that they may do away with the weekend program because of a problem that has happened while I wasn't there supervising. Fuck a duck. The place is simply falling apart without me. Somebody needs to step up to the plate and hold down the fort (cliches anyone?) until I get back. I don't wanna go back to a regular 5 day nursing work week!

Well, ah-hem, didn't I ramble off topic just a bit?!

Sweet & Happy again

First, thanks for the confirmation that the multivitamins & fluoride aren't necessary. Catherine, thanks for the info on the ADA. I read the site and feel much better, but now I'm not sure about my son's doctor... Anyway. Kevin is back to himself since stopping that evil stuff, although his bowels aren't, yet. It must've constipated him....TMI? Blogger is pissing me off because it will not let me start a new paragraph so I'm sorry this is all smooshed together. The Carly situation? Much, much better. Most of the time she now acts like she doesn't give much of a rat's assseem to notice Kevin as much. I did order these bad boy gates that screw into the wall and are taller. Now, I just have to put them up (they were delivered today...well, one came today. The other came yesterday). I sure hope I never have to hurdle one of these. I'm too old to try that...they're really tall. Gah! I can't write like this! It's totally fucking with my flow. I'll be back when Blogger stops screwing with me or when I figure out how to fix it....

Whining, crying, screaming & fit throwing...

...but enough about me. Holy moly. I damn near lost my mind the night before last. Kevin woke up around 11:30PM-which is usual-and proceeded to scream his bloody little head off until 2AM. I had tried feeding, changing, Tylenol...and then I gave him some, too. Nothing was working. I was like WTF???!!!! Roni came to spell me at that point and took him downstairs. PTL & Roni 'cause, holy shit! She said he stayed up almost the whole rest of the night whining but she noticed that he was pulling his legs up a lot and grimacing. He had also been cranky the day before, but not as bad. Coincidentally, or not, we had started him on a multivitamin with fluoride the day before. I think the multivitamin fucked with his belly disagreed with him. Guess what I didn't give him today? He's already on a formula with extra vitamins in it and the doctor in Guatemala had taken him off his multivite. I don't think he needs it, but I don't know if I can get fluoride gtts without the multivite part. I do know that there is no way in this great big beautiful world I can watch him suffer like that again...or me either, for that matter. He's also teething so I'm sure that's adding to the problem...

I'll leave you with pics that'll make you think I'm a liar with his happy face:

Please pray for my blog friend

My friend, Terry, got OUT of PGN a mere few days after I did. She went to Guatemala to wait out PINK a couple weeks after she got OUT because she was planning on fostering anyway. Well, she's still there! It's been almost a month that she's been living there and, for some unknown reason, the embassy has not issued her PINK slip yet. I was sad for her for awhile, now I'm simply pissed. WTF is the problem?! The embassy won't tell our agency why. At the same muhfuckin' time, they haven't asked for any further info or corrections. They simply haven't issued it AND WON'T SAY WHY. They say they'll only tell Terry VIA email, but have yet to answer her email. Please send prayers/good wishes her way. I really want to see her PINK post. She needs to bring her son home and be with her husband, and her son with his daddy.
Her blog is in my blogroll...Adoption...the real truth. Pop on over and wish her well, K?

A death sentence and a Pardon

Well, I risked you thinking I was horrible, now I'll risk you thinking I'm an idiot.

After calling the SPCA to check up on Carly, we found out that they were going to euthanize her. Roni and I talked about the decision that had been made. Had we given her enough of a chance? Had we tried enough options? How about the crappy baby gates that we had...maybe a better gate would help take care of things...one she couldn't knock down. What about the all natural "Calming Treats" that we bought for her...had we tried those? What about a behavior modification trainer that will come in the house to help? Did we give her a chance to get used to a baby in the house so he wasn't something she had to, for the love of doggy god, see? The answer was no. We hadn't tried. Not really. Not hard enough. We hadn't done everything we could because it was inconvenient and we were overwhelmed with everything a new baby entails. It wasn't fair and the guilt was all consuming. I had done everything I could to save some baby mice in my house and not kill them in the process (remember this post?!http://waitingforkevin.blogspot.com/2007/06/just-wee-bit-freaked-now.html), but, dammit, I didn't try as hard for my dog. Well, we are now...we are now.

Welcome home Carly!

Please don't think I'm horrible

I thought about not posting this because I know some people may judge me poorly for the decision I felt I had to make. As a matter of fact, I read someone's blog last night, of all nights, that addresses this same issue and it had me in tears.

I was fearing for Kevin's safety and made one of the toughest, heartbreaking choices I've ever had to make. Up until yesterday, I had 3 dogs. A Rottie, a Border Collie and a Pug. I've written about them before and I spoke of the fear I had about the Rottie and her reaction to Kevin. I got the Rottie from the SPCA a little over 5 years ago. That fact is important because, if you get a dog from the SPCA, you must sign a contract spelling out what you can and cannot do with the dog. If you are to ever give it up, you MUST return it to them and only them. Carly's reaction to Kevin is what I feared it would be. She's a 100lb dog that was busting down the baby gates to try to get to him. She didn't appear to be aggressive, but she's so big that I feared for Kevin. Before we went on the p/u trip she was showing some personality changes where she'd be aggressive towards the Pug. We took her to the vet who tried her on some medication, but it made no difference. Yesterday, I returned her to the SPCA. My hope is that she believes she's being kenneled as she's been many times before. I sit here with tears streaming down my face, but I believe that I had to do it. For Kevin. I couldn't wait to see if she would harm him. It would be too late at that point and I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I'm having a hard enough time right now.

I'm so sorry, Carly.

It was all worthwhile

This is how Kevin wakes up in the morning. Seeing this through my bleary, sleepy eyes made the crazy, scary journey all worthwhile. Thank-you FTC!

Gramma's yesterday, Doctor today...

My mom is over-the-moon in love with Kevin. She has bought so much stuff for him that the house is starting to look like a daycare. My house is small and his stuff has taken over the dining and living room. The boy wants to walk and he hasn't even begun to crawl, yet, so Mom got him a walker. He just loves that. He loves to watch traffic while sitting on the porch. The bigger or louder a vehicle is, the better he likes it.

Yesterday we drove to Gramma's to pick up his walker and the bathtub and toys she's bought him and he got to meet her mini horses:

Today, he went to the doctor. He weighs 14lbs, 4ozs. That's a 1lb 1oz gain from last month. He gained almost a 1/2 lb since being home (I've been weighing him because of my concern with his formula intake). That's thin for his age and for his length, but the doctor isn't concerned at this point because he's very healthy. His length blew me away, though. He grew over 2 1/4 inches this month! He's now just over the 75th percentile for his age! Last month he fell at about the 17th percentile. He also got a Pneumococcal shot (he called it something else, but I can't remember the name...same thing, though). He took it like a trooper and only cried for a few seconds. The office girls were swooning over him and he flirted like a pro. Kevin's doctor is of Indian descent, so thankfully, I didn't have to educate him on Mongolian spots (Kevin has 1 large one on his upper buttocks and a small one on his back). I asked the doctor to document them in case of any future problems. If you've never seen them, you'd swear the were bruises. Here he is at his first visit...

Maybe I figured it out....MAYBE

First, thanks for the input! I really appreciate it and I'm feeling a little more mellow (mellow?...did I just age myself?).

I've been using the bottles the FM gave me because, of course, he doesn't care for the brand I bought. What I realized was that all of the nipples are #1 except one of them-which is a #2. The #2 was on a bottle that was set aside from the others and I hadn't been using it simply because it wasn't handy-not because it was a #2. I started thinking that maybe he is just having to work too damn hard on the #1s and gives up. Tonight, when I put him to bed, I grabbed that bottle. I didn't have a whole lot of hope because he had just finished 3.5ozs of formula and a half jar of squash 2 hours earlier. I didn't think he'd be hungry enough to prove anything to me either way, but I wanted to give it a shot. He slammed almost all of the 6ozs down in minutes and promptly fell asleep while probably thinking, "it's about time, fool". I'm excited to see how the next feedings go. Of course, now I have to find this brand...WalMart doesn't carry it. Off to check the Target site!

A little worried

Waking up to Kevin's smiling face in the morning is the one thing that will get me up at such an inhumane hour without being cranky. He actually wakes up smiling. How does one even do that?

He's taking 2 or 3 naps a day. Long naps. A couple of hours each. Seems weird to me. Is it normal to still be sleeping so much? We've kinda gotten away from the 3rd nap because, by the time he's ready to take that one, it's almost bath and bed time so I've been trying to keep him up from that 3rd one. The FM had told us that he "takes many naps", but I just assumed they were short ones. It's so obvious when he needs one. He starts rubbing his eyes and starts to get cranky. You can just about set your watch by him. When I was going to put him down for a nap, there would be, basically, a temper tantrum. Screaming and kicking the legs. And Kevin was upset, too. I finally decided to try the ?Ferber? method. OMG! What a beautiful thing. I think it saved my life sanity. He's still getting up to take a couple ounces of formula 2-3 times a night, but, since he doesn't take it well all day, I don't mind. Oh! That's where the "A little worried" comes in. HE DOESN'T TAKE HIS FORMULA WELL at all. He'll take 2-3ozs at a time and refuses to take more. Once in a blue moon, he'll take 4ozs, but that's rare. I'm concerned because I don't think his caloric intake is enough. He didn't gain much weight between his 5 and 6 month doctor visit and, if my scale is comparable to the doctor's scale in Guatemala, he's gained less than a pound since his 6 month visit (a month ago). I call tomorrow for his first doctor's visit here. I'm already trying to guess at what the doctor will say. I've thought about concentrating his formula a little more to up his caloric intake. I'm at my wits end. If he won't drink more, what can I do?

My days are twice as long and my time is half as short

Y'all? You know how people say that you don't have time to get anything done during the day when you have young kids? Uh-huh. Those people weren't just whistling Dixie. All the moms out there are now smirking and nodding. Shuddup. And I only have the one little one. How in tarnation do you do it when you have a couple of young ones? And twins? Oy! I can't imagine. Don't get me wrong...Kevin is a joy (except when he's tired and fighting a nap..."joy" isn't the word I'd use at that moment), but my whole schedule has changed. I used to sleep until, oh, say 10AM and go to bed around 2AM. Now, I'm getting up at the ungodly hour of around 7:30, but I still can't seem to get to bed much before 1AM. I have several extra hours in the day and am getting less done than I was BK (before Kevin). And I'm loving it, but Man! I hope I can get a schedule worked out that is more conducive to be able to... mow the grass paint the edging around the ceiling fix the basement window...well, you know, do stuff that needs to be done that I'd normally do without any procrastination at all.

Gotta go...he's waking up from his nap. See what I mean about not having time to do stuff?

I'll leave you with some eye candy...

Meeting my brother (who he's named after):

Meeting "Pawpaw" (Mom's DH and avid hunter...note the hat).